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    October 09

    God's test

      God is testing me, I can feel it, so clearly. It's a pity and shame sometimes to say that people only think of God when adversity hits. But when the adversity is too much to endure, or when God waited too long to respond, people's patience sometimes runs out. That's how a lot of Christians didn't stick out and get converted back to non-Christians. 
      I am hit with such an adversity right now. I was sitting in the library today doing my homework while still pensing on the issues in my life that have been pushing me towards the edge of losing my sanity. And then suddenly couple of verses occured to me: The birds in the sky don't search or store, yet God feeds them every day. ... The flowers in the field don't weave or knit, but I tell you, even in his prime days,  King Solomn didn't have dresses that were as beautiful. ... Don't worry about food, clothes or living, only trust in the Lord.
      Suddenly, I somehow felt relieved. Sure the issues are still there to be solved, but I was able to settle down to finish what I am doing. I can't guess and know what I have done that has displeased God or why God is doing what He is doing to my life. But whatever it is, I am willing to submit myself to his way and let Him guide me through these adversities. Even if it gets so hard that I want to give up, I still hope that he can keep me by his side or carry me on his shoulders. Don't worry about tomorrow, tomorrow has its own worries. I am willing to do what You please me to do, for once, please let me see you clearly and see the hope of continuing on. Or just keep me as the blind child who didn't see but believes.

    October 07

    bike ride

    Just had my first bike ride to school and back today. It IS NOT fun, not AT ALL. I would say, now i finally understand why Americans use bicycles mainly as a sport rather than a way of commuting other than the vast distances they have to cover. Riding in a city that's built on hills can really take the life out of people. I am gasping. Guess I won't have to find a way to exercise now. If I can ride to school, which is about half an hour's ride from home, without gasping or a heart stroke, I'll either be really content with my physical condition or I am dead. For those of you that haven't had a taste of biking in America, my suggestion is, if you are still thinking of the kind of bike riding in China, save your imaginations and stay grounded.

    wedding

    Finally have time to fix some words on the wedding that I expected so much. I actually scared a few people when I told them I was attending a wedding because they thought it was my wedding, and according to public knowledge, I am still single and unavailable.
    Flight landed in Providence 11:17, 5 minutes later than expected arrival, though my two flights were delayed a total of an hour. I will never take a US airways small jet any more, the ones with two propellers on the wings, it almost drove me crazy.
    12 o'clock, Jerry's house, Shrewsbury, had some beef noodle soup, a hair cut that made my robinson crusoe look somewhat civilzed. To bed at 1:30.
    With all excitement, 7:30 saturday morning, I woke up, went with Meng ayi to the hotel where the bride, the groom and their families located. Really not being helpful in anyway other than just being excited to see them happy, tired and excited for the wedding.
    11:00, Southborough, coordinating people and preparation commitee have been there whole morning when I carried the box full of wedding gift-backs they prepared and flowers for the flower girls into church. I was prepared to answer one hundred times "Oh, when did you come back?" And so excited to see people that I miss so much being well and happy. The preparation was all hustle, I blew balloons in the recession room. Put the wedding gifts in an heart shape, and walked around wasting time bothering people.
    2:00, Start of wedding. See everyone happpy on their faces for this couple that everyone has loved and cared about and witnessed their growth for the past years. I missed a verse when I was reading the scriptures. I was well-prepared, but guess I wasn't reading from my heart so I missed what I was reading. Luckily, it was too discernable, according to the audiences. Wedding lasted a little over an hour, thanks to our pastor's well-planned speech. It took more than half an hour to finish photographing with different groups of people, I can see the fatigue on their faces. Makes me think how many people I am going to invite to my wedding, which might be in the 22nd century.
    Recession, good food, good programs. Once again heard them singing to Quan's guitar, just like the Mid-autumn party in WPI three years ago when they sang “星晴" and won the first prize. Oh, how I wish I learned a little more music when I was little. Family dinner after recession, I drank a tea-cup of beer, then diluted it with enough water so that my eyes didn't swallon.
    Such a memorable moment. Sincere wishes for both of them. Enjoy your lives.
    October 03

    my stats professor said: ...

    1. A white puppy is a puppy, but a curved exponential family is not an exponential family.
    2. If you spend enough time to understand why it's obvious, then it is obvious.
    3. Every year when I get to this point, I would expect a well round of applause, but none have ever been given to me. ... (applause) ... And the applause I do get is sarcastic.
    4. If you think you don't understand 10 persent of what I am talking about, then you are doing alright. If you claim that you understand all of it, then I would be worried because you probably are not on the right track.
    5. In order to prove Gauss's model isn't correct, Laplace invented his own distribution. ... Gauss invented another distribution to claim his is better than Laplace's ... Cauchy invented his own distribution that claims not only better than those two, but actually that both Gauss's and Laplace's distribution doesn't make sense.
    6. My wife is a logician. She told me that everything in the world is either yes or no. ... I just asked a yes or no question, and only ten percent of the students answered me. So she's definitely not right.
    7. If I see one happy face in this classroom, I'll be happy. That means at least someone thinks he understands something.
    8. Back in those days I was working on a program to trace Soviet submarines ... so you can see how old I am, there was actually something called the Soviet Union back then. ...
     
    September 30

    impending ...

      So excited that Saturday is finally coming. Four days away, two of the most beautiful people in the world will also become two of the happiest. I can't say anything but gasp at the wonders of God's work. Still remember almost a year ago in front of a packed audience, there were the ring, the proposal and a face of complete shock, amazement and exuberence. Three years is like a wink, before which we were almost complete strangers, after which I can feel every drop of sweetness that oozes from their graceful hearts. This is a couple that deserves all gratitude imaginable from a verbally-challenged describer as myself; This is a couple that constitutes the biggest reason why I would thank God for bringing me to Clark for college; This is a couple that leads me onto the road of serving God and enjoying his abundant blessings; This is a couple that I would devote my now-occasionally-used prayers for their wellbeing and marriage. This is a couple that God puts in front of my eyes as a perfect example of unity in Him. And finally, four days later, everything comes true.
      Thank you, God, for your divine guidance on their road so far, and for the abundant blessings you are going to pour out on their family and families from the moment on. Thank you for putting them in my life and letting me wittness your glory and love through them whenever my eyes lay upon them.  Thank you for every moment I spent and treasured with them. Wish your abundant blessings be with them on this Saturday, so that they can be the most beautiful and handsome bride and groom.
    September 28

    分享一首歌

    This is my favorite song.
    禱告
    禱告,因爲我渺小; 禱告,因爲我知道我需要明了,你心意對我重要;
    禱告,已假裝不了; 禱告,因爲你的愛我需要,你關懷,我走過的你都明白;
    有些事我只想對你說,因爲你比任何人都愛我;痛苦從眼中留下,我知道你爲我擦;
    在早晨我也要來對你說,主耶稣今天我爲你活,所需要的力量你天天賜給我,你恩典夠我用。
     
     
    September 11

    dedication

    I suddenly feel that Christians are the least unselfish people in the world. Because none of the things we do come unpaid. We do things TO please God. We are not selfish, because we are selfless once united with Christ. We always EMPHASIZE that God is just and fair. But, are we saying that just because we love God or do we really have the right to even judge so? What is our definition of just and fair? There is no clear definition in the Bible, the ten commandments are for humans, not for God, and we have absolutely no way of knowing where or even if such a set of rules exist for God. And even if it does, which I don't believe so, because we don't make rules that judge ourselves, we are in no place of judging God. So such a saying in its core, only solidly expresses our love and praise to God. No matter what HE does to us, for us or before us, he has his own reasons, we are not to argue, because we know he loves us, that much we know, and always know. He's our Father. HE created everything that we are, see, hear or sense. He loved us so much he gave up his son Jesus to wash our sins. For that, he has every right to accept and require our praise and worship. Honestly, I sleep and wake up every day wishing that he would miraculously heal my body, all the bruises I had and give me a brain  that doesn't yawn and get sleepy so often and one that remembers things a little longer than the life span of a microoragnism. But even with none of that happening, I still wake up every day and just thank him for making my life the way it is right now, thank him for giving me the opportunity to be able to wake up and enjoy the sunshine or the cloud and the wonders of nature, and thank him for giving me a spot to park and not having to worry about getting a ticket.

    God's family is a loving family, friends, if you are reading this blog and believe in Him, please Amen to it, and if you haven't accepted or see Christianity like Satan or serpent, please at least take a moment to thank life and everything you have. May God bless all.

    September 10

    new life(part II)

    As much as I appreciate what I have when I still have it, it still hurts like a needle in the heart when I loose it. In a sense, location change is not such a difficulty for me, mentality gear-shifting is as hard as learning to drive a manual. As much as I have prepared myself for it, after today's classes I have completely nailed my brain in the Mathematically-immobilized category. Not "challenged", but "immobilized". I had to go to the gym for half an hour before driving home because I wasn't sure I could drive straight after what happened. Four classes, three of them straight in the afternoon from 12 to 4:15. I know I would be called "B*tching" by Chinese college students by complaining about only having three classes in a row. Back in the under years, it was about getting by and enjoying life. Now life is Math, I guess I need a little more time to work myself into that.

    May God lead me.

    But being in this place makes me really miss Worcester. Friends from school, friends from church. I'll dedicate the following as a thanks.

    I have completely indulged myself in the love and patience and generosity of my friends, of that, I have no adequate verbal ability nor the needed articulation skills to express even a hundredth of what I owe to them. All that I can do is to bear it in my heart and wait for some appropriate moment in hope that God will provide me with a chance to do something for them, not as a return, because for that I will have to drain the water from the oceans and exhaust the Hydrogen from the Sun. For those above mentioned that read this blog, thank you for everything you've done for me, thank you for tolerating my childish indulgence, thank you for forgiving my ignorance, thank you for remembering me in every occasion, thank you for putting your trust in me, thank you for the hearted and timely help in times of need, thank you for giving me a family to love. Thank God for putting all of you into my life, and thank God for letting me be even the infinitesimal part of your life, I won't trade anything for it.

    TO Clarkies, you have been such a major part of my life, especially towards the last year or so. It's my honor to be able to get to know you even if just for a brief intersection of our lives. Clark has left countable marks on me, and the most obvious one is the people. Thank you for being there for me, my life at Clark was enlightened because of you. Esp. Dandan and Hang, thanks for being with me for four years.

     

    Now that a new life has shed its light on the horizon, I'm going to walk through damp or dump, boulders or gravels, bumps or dents, storm or silence, and I know that with God help, I can succeed, with his Glory.

    new life(premiere)

    Finally after such a long time, I have decided to clean up this theologically-aged forest in my blog and put some life into it.
    But before anything, I did begin by reading the blog I last wrote, and all that was about basketball. So I am starting sport-y.
    I have just figured out what a charm I am to the sports development of the city I stay in. Here is my proof.
    Shenyang, for a start, where I was born, ever since I was born, it has been a city of great sport tradition. That part I'll skip.
    2001, I went to Missouri for half a year. Unfortunately, that state doesn't have a well-established major sports team, nothing to brag about there. But The Sacramento Kings, who were as red hot as the Arsenals back then, actually originated from Kansas City, which was shared by Missouri and Kansas, correct me if i am wrong, Geography majors. Side story.
     
    2004, upon graduation from high school, I went to Clark, located in Massachussetts,(still don't know how to spell the name). Upon my arrival, immediately followed perhaps the biggest sports celebration in MA history, the Red Sox took back the Championship they had dreamed about, looked at, smelt for 86 long years. Oh I still remember all those craziness, Big Pappy, Manny, Pedro the MVP, Johny Damon ... That's what got me into baseball. And just the fashion they perfomed the feat, coming from 3 games and 1 out in the ninth inning against the Yanks, and then went 8 straight, put their idiotic names up on the top level of the MLB archive, achieving a dream for a nation and generations. Sports is transcendant, you don't have to understand the technicality to feel the heart. I joyed with them, teared, too.
    Then for the year and the subsequent three years, the Pats brought home couple of NFL trophys, including the heart-breaking miss at the finals last year for a perfect season, but no one can diminish their accomplishment. Brady became a hollywood icon, the first one that made the brace on his leg a nationwide topic.
    Finally, 2008, the year I left, The Green was back on. Celts brought in the big Ticket, Ray Allen alongside the "Truth", and they gave Bostonians the championship back after 24 years, since Larry retired. Unfortunately, I wasn't there for the celebration. Must be huge.
     
    Now that I am in Baltimore, Michael Phelps, a Baltimore native, really became the center of attention in the Beijing Olympics. Less to say about him, not such a big fan.
     
    Looks like I should move to Houston now that Ron Artest is in the Rockets. Maybe I'll bring Houston a Championship and relieve yao's pressure.
    That's all nonsense, sorry for wasting your time if you are reading it, thanks, but I just have to throw them out.
    April 18

    Playoff predictions 2

    Every series is a good series in the west. For me, the second expected storyline would be the series between Houston and Jazz, altough that wouldn't be too much of a contest like the first one.
      For Houston, despite losing Yao Ming, they managed to secure home court in the first round. But that doesn't matter. No one said they could go anywhere with Yao Ming, but everyone knows they can't be anywhere without Yao come playoffs. T-mac just doesn't have enough to pull the Rockets pass the Jazz. Unless Deke can play 20 years younger than his age, Houston minus Yao Ming turns them from one of the bigger teams into the smallest team in the league. That might work well against the Jazz since they like using Pick-n'-Rolls and Yao just get exposed to his weakest spot when he gets involved. But given the type of rebounding team and the physicality of the Jazz in general, they are going to have a hard time on both ends of the floor.
      For the Jazz, secure their home court, and try to limit turn overs on the road.
      Houston:
      Protect the boards.
      Move the ball.
      T-mac has to stop hitting iron.
     
      Utah:
      Win all home games.
      Limit turnovers on the road.
      Defend the three.
     
      Possible outcome:
      Jazz take it in five, finish it at home.

    Playoff pictures 1

    MMMMM... So tasty. Just have to use this line to express my opinion on the western conference playoff picture. It seems that it has been as great as this for a long time. As much as basketball on a whole has declined as an art form, the western conference this year might revive some of the feelings for NBA basketball. Three teams in the west have identical records couple of games before the end of the season. That did nothing but raised the expectations for the dogfights that are about to start this saturday.
      Of course, other than some die-hard fans in Detroit, most people would put the Celtics easily on top of the east and they will cruise through and wait for the dogfights in the west to be over before they can realise their championship dream once again. Congrats, Kevin, you got your Championship. Well deserved.
      Talking about the west is a completely different story. Let's see. The most storied matchup would be the 3 vs 6 where we are going to witness if the Pheonix trade for Shaq seriously worked or not. After all, they traded Shaq for no other reason than countering the great Timmy D, arguably the best player right now, although a little old. Matchup-wise, Bell would be a good option on Parker, because no one wants Hill to break his ankle trying to stick with him. That leaves Hill on Ginobili, and Hill is a good enough defender to slow down Ginobili. That obviously allows Nash to hide behind Bruce Bowen and not be exposed on the defensive end. So he gets to do more on offense. Now, Shap is obviously brought in to take care of Duncan, if everything works out, Duncan will be banned up working on O'neal. Now, that entirely leaves Stoudmare free to do what he wants to do, rebounding, help-guarding Tim Duncan ... With the type of numbers he put up since Shap came to Pheonix, everyone knows what he is going to do. On offense, they have two complete different well working systems. They can run their high powered run-and-gun when Shaq is not there. And when Nash needs a rest, Shaq will be there to allow them run a half-court inside-out offense. And with Shaq occuping the defense in the paint, Stoudmare can expect 30 point - 15 rebound averages throughout the series. Also somehow they have to find a way to involve Ginobili on the defensive side. Make him work so that he can't use everything on offense. But No.1 improvement, Shaq brings that swagger and championship experience to the Suns.
      Talking about the spurs. Their biggest disadvantage as well as their biggest advantage, is their age/experience. Defensively, Bowen would definitely take Nash. Nothing needs to be said about Bruce Bowen on defense. If he manages to knee Nash couple of times, Spurs have nothing to worry about. Ginobili might have to take Grant Hill, he is smart, but a little undersized. They might have to rely on their system and help defense to guard this former "Jordan Successor" effectively. As for their interior. I would not send Duncan off chasing Stoudmare. The best option is for the Spurs to put him one-on-one on Shaq. He can go 50 to 50 with Shaq or a little better. But at least that doesn't leave Stoudmare open for that fifteen foot jumper, that slashing dunk or oppose him to the offensive board. On offense, Parker has to penetrate, Duncan has to do what he does. But most importantly, Ginobili has to continue to be the X-factor he has been all season for the Spurs. If he can't be 100%, the Spurs will again change into that team that struggled to get up to 80 points per game. Well, everything depends on Manu for the Spurs.
      For the Suns:
        Containing Ginobili.
        Limiting turnovers.
        Someone has to step up on the bench.
      For the Spurs:
        Bowen's job on Nash.
        Ginobili's playing up to his ability.
        One of the old guys have to contribute.
      Expected outcome:
        Pheonix take the series in 7 games and lose the seond home game.
    April 17

    NBA season review

    I have been so reluctant on updating my space. I finally can't hold off my interest in basetball and decide to write something about the NBA this season.
      The year 2007 has been a crazy season for Bostonians. Their own Red Sox won their second World Series in four years. THen they went from the ecstasy of 18-0 to the emotional abyss of 18-1 as the Pats fall short on their hope for perfection at the last step. But perhaps more than both of that, the acquisition of Ray Allen and subsequently Kevin Garenett and Sam Cassel by the Boston Celtics turned "The Green" back on, as they witenss the greatest single season turn around in the modern NBA era as they improved by a total of 42 more wins last season, locked up the best regular season record in the 2007-2008 season and seemingly one step away from reviving the glory of the old Russel or Bird days.
      But even the Celtics depeleted their bench as they pulled off that one for eight trade for KG. Perhaps rated the steal of the century, Los Angles finall made Staples Center once again one of the hottest spots and hardest place to play after Kupchak directed a trade that should probably rand his name alongside the likes of Steven Spilberg and such as he gave up almost nothing to get Pau Gasol to add alongside Kobe, Odom and Bynum. Now it seems like the fans can enjoy the old boston-LA rivalry for at least another four years.
      Pheonix has been an exciting team since Nash got there. But after falling short before the great Timmothy Duncan times and again, they finally decided to change their contenance. By trading O'neal and giving up perhaps one of the best finishers and fast break high flying dunker and untilmate stats guy in Shawn Marion, they formed their own SOS that had all the other teams calling abulances. Steve-O'neal-Stoudmare. That sounds so pretty. They just don't know that Boston and Lakers just got so much stronger. Bad luck. Suns.
      On the other end of the spectrum, the Mavs under their hotheaded owner Mark Cuban, gave up their most proud bench for Jason Kidd. What they don't know is, Jason is too old, and he can't help them. They are a jump shooting team at best, and that's never going to change withtheir top three scorers, Nowisky, Howard and Stackhouse using jump shots as their main weaponry. They win by hastle and just out running guys, which is also why they lost to Golden State last season. With Nowisky as their No.1 guy, they can never trade for a legitimate interior player that allows to play set offense, which makes Jason Kidd's value diminish so much. Sorry Mavs, sorry Mark, you made the wrong move.
      Of course, big names isn't the only option. Kyle Korver definitely improved the Jazz's half court offense by spacing the floor with his outside shooting. Scola gave Houston their most needed contribution at the power forward position. Rashard Lewis signed one of the biggest free agent contracts in league history to the Magic.
      There are plenty of other unbelivable things. Rockets withstood the injury of Yao and pulled off a 22 game winning streak. Wizards despite playing without at least one of Agent 0 and Caron Butler, managed to secure a spot in the east playoff race and beat Boston three out of their four meetings. Paul lead the young Hornets after Katrina to top record in the ultra competitive west. The Trailblazers managed to pull off a decent season while waiting for their first pick this year Oden to rehab and make his debut. The New-York Nickerbuckers stink like a skunk. Even Dwight Howard became the first center to win the dunk contest after his outing as "superman" which disclosed his unbelivably "low" IQ. And now everyone is raving about perhaps one of the most talented and deep Draft class in the coming year.
      What's going to happen in the playoffs? Who knows?
    January 02

    daily verse

    I just signed up for a daily bible verse site. This is what i got for weekly wisdom:
    • Safety is not found in the absence of danger but in the presence of God.
    • You can't enjoy today if you're worrying about the past or the future.

    And the daily bible verse is:

      The tongue has power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. (proverbs: 18-21

    It's just amazing how God answers the prayers. Amen.

    new year prayer

    At the same time in 2005, I was sitting in front of a computer, updating my blog with a paryer. I was showering just now, and a strong feeling urged me to pray again, not only for the new year, but also for myself. So that's what i am going to do.
    DEAR HEAVENLY FATHER,
      At this moment when we rid off an old year and prepare ourselves for a new one, I come in front of you, buried in crime and penitence, to ask you for forgiveness for what I have done, and blessing for what I am going to do, and to ask for your teaching on how to love you.
      It seems that only when one is lonely and idle does he think about things and get worried about the future. Or at least I am, right now. You said that our faith in you are best tested on trials and setbacks. It seems that I am finally getting my chance, to turn an empty line into something that touches the bottom of my heart and runs through it as real as the blood in my veins. With my future on the line, Lord, there is no one else that I can turn to but you. For my lack of service to you during my abundant times, this is not a worthy favor to ask for. But no one is worthy in front of you. All of a sudden, I am feeling a rush of insecurity and turmoil upside down my heart, stirring my soul, preventing myself from peace. I know I did this to myself, and to receive what I have right now is nothing but fair for me. But you came upon to save sinners, and here is one asking for your mercy. May you once more wash out all the blemish of my soul. May you teach me what you really meant when you said to Adam " Your decendants will work hard all day for his food and shelter." May you give me what I deserve from you, no matter what that is. And may you insert peace and grace into my heart.
      So many things have passed in the past year. So many things are coming in the coming year. You said that heaven and earth can change but never shall your words. I here by make a commitment that I am going to live by your words every moment. May you rejuvenate me when I am worn out and decide to give up. And may you give me determination and wisdom so that I am not just writing this out for people to see my form, but for myself to convict my soul. May you soften my tongue, so that words from it will not be of indignity and vice. May you rinse my eyes, so that everything seen through them is of grace and purity. May you toughen my hands, so that they will be fit for what they are designed for. May you steady my mind, so that it will fight off tempatations of food, of lust, of momentary satisfaction, of satan.
      I pray that you will see revival in our church. That you will use more and more brothers and sisters, give them gifts, use them as our church reaches out to the community. Prepare their heart, or our hearts, and body. Ready us for the revival of your body in our church. Make everyone see the church as their family, love the kids as their own, teach them what you teach us, make the church a glorious place for your praise. May you take care of the weak, the bewildered, let them taste your love when they need it the most.
      I pray that you will give blessings to my friends and family at home. Give them peace and health. For those in search of their future, may you prepare them for the best, and prepare their hearts, so that no matter where they are going to be, they will be ready when you call upon them.
      Amen.
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    January 01

    new year

    Can't remember how many times I have made this promise to myself, that I am going to start living a new life style in the coming year. I figured it can't be more than 22 anyways. Well, hope this is going to be the first time that I actually carry out my word.
    There is this helpless feeling that you owe someone so much that no matter what you do, you can never pay it all back. Worse still, you can't even think of some way to pay even a little. And every time you do something, it just seems that you hurt or trouble that person more. The result is, every time you see that friend, you feel like you are farther apart from each other. IT hurts when what you really want to do is get closer. It's like traveling in the opposite direction, the faster you go, the farther away you get. Really hope that there is some way i can fix that problem, or better yet, fix my way of thinking.
     
    Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, "All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age." Amen. (Matthew 28:18-20)
    December 18

    notes

    True joy is not achieved through endless accomplishments. It comes from a heart that knows how to appreciate, how to share and how to love.
    December 15

    new life

    Such a tough period of time. Now I understand why people get carried away from God when they are busy. Yeah, finally, even I understand and feel it.
    As graduation draws near, every day becomes more and more precious. For a person like me, the biggest challenge will not be trying to finish college or trying to adapt to a new environment be it work or study. For me, it is the feeling of being pulled away from the friends that I have come to love so much. I want so much to stay in MA, but that's not up for me to decide. To think that people are going to head in different directions after May mixes the sweetness of promise and the bitterness of bidding farewell. All that I can do is cross my fingers and pray to God to see to it that everyone is well in their new lives.
    With every coming day, I am realising more and more of my life in sin. It stings deep into my heart, so deep it's hard for me to get out. I have been lavishing the goodness of my beloved friends, especially those that i hold dear to me, now it's time I pay back. I have been harsh on the tongue, yet my tongue deceives me so often. I have always been proud of the calmness of my temper, yet recently it has been so easily agitated. The deeper I dig, the more astonishing I get. Let me be or kill me on the cross. Give me just a split second so that i can feel that I have your figure. Solomn asked out of everything in the world that you would give him wisdom. If you are to grant me one thing that I can have, I want to ask you for a heart, a pure heart that loves and always loves you in front of myself. Will you give it to me?
     
    September 07

    full cycle

    IT's such a wonderful feeling. Last year at this time I was tutoring Margaret, who was struggling with Honors Calculus. Around this time in September, she asked me a question on the graph of the cosine function. I asked her to come to the board and tell me what she thought. She started drawing the graph on the board. I joked and said, "You are going to be a tutor next year, i have faith in you." Today, she was explaining the same question to one of the new students that's once again struggling with Honors Calculus. It's just so encouraging to see life coming full cycle and that the new generation takes up where the old left off. IT's just such a great feeling.
    After a wild start of the semester, finally I am able to settle down and carry on with my studies. And thank Lord that i can accept what i can not change and have a peaceful heart.Twice in my life I had been trying to find what I think I need, and twice I was knocked on the head. The first time i was ten steps late, the second time I wasn't even in the picture. But amazingly neither time I had a breakdown. Guess I was in that zone Joey said Ross was in: Priesthood. Like what Boe said, just not blind yet. But I am slowly losing sight. There are feelings that I have never felt before. There are things I did that I had never done before. Thank Lord for keeping me level-headed in the right direction.
    May 20

    Jazz vs Spurs

    Well, apparently the first game ended up just about the way everyone would have expected, perhaps except couple of frenetic fans from Salt Lake City.
    I still root for the Jazz, not only because they are an underdog, but also that I really believe they can do something about this series. About the seemingly convincing first game loss, they have something to say.
    First of all, the Spurs is the better team there is no doubt about that. Come playoff time about this time around the conference finals, experience is about to kick in. The entire San Antonio team are filled with veteran leaders while Deron Williams, the point guard that the Jazz rely on so much, is only about a rookie. This is going to be a huge factor throughout the series.
    No.2, Spurs got home court, so they played the first one at home. And every team in this league, including the Spurs themselves, knows how hard it is for them to get beat on their own floor. SO the first loss isn't unacceptable.
    No.3, as much as people talk about energy, from my experience, the team that had to play through more games always came out vitorious in the first game against the team that got about a week's rest and are just getting a little bit rusty.
    With that being said, look for this to be a seven game closely contested series. And I do think the Jazz can win. THe only thing they have to do is to make sure Duncan doesn't get too comfortable. Give him a little size from Memo, a little muscle from Boozer, a little hustle from Milsap. Just make him work on the offensive side enough to slow down his defense. If you slow down the anchor of defense on a great defensive team, you have a good chance to win. DOn't worry about giving him 30 points a game, make sure you don't give him too many double teams that he passes the balls out for open threes by Finley and such, that is the killer. Don't have to go up and contest his shots, he's too tall and long. Just keep a solid body underneath and try to shake him, keep a hand in his face and always, keep your feet under you, he hurts you more when he gets an offensive rebound than when he gets two points. give him 30 and 5, don't allow him 20 and 15 and 5. Also, he is too good for a single player. Throw everyone on him, disrupt his rythm. Just like any other good low post player, he is a lousy free throw shooter, foul him if you have to and make him earn it from the line. If the Jazz can do that, they don't have to worry about Parker and Genobili, they are going to win.
    Good Luck, Jazz, achieve what John and Karl didn't achieve, for the title. I'm behind you.
    May 11

    predictions

    Looks like there are not that much left to predict for the second round.
    Eastern is all set, Piston's veterans are giving the calves a little something to learn, Cleveland's offensive rebounding might just to too much for J-Kidd and V-Sanity to handle. As it was, the suspense all lies within the west.
    Spurs stole one in Pheonix, but Suns are not going to let through. If Nash continues to play the way he play, and somehow Thomas can find a way to keep doing the things he did in Game 2 on Timmy-D, the Suns might just have enough to seek their revenge for what happened two years ago. Steve Nash is still the MVP. Looks like Shawn Marion is giving Tonny Parker everything he can handle. Look for the Spurs to run some pick and rolls to involve Tonny Parker with Steve Nash, because they can't let him easy by letting him stay on Bowen. They have to make him work on D.
      Looks like Dallas is to be thanked for by the Jazz. I am giving the Jazz green light to pass through the West. Now, Warriors are not beating them, reason: The hastling points that were detrimental the first round for the Warriors are now all going to the Jazz because they fight, they are physical and more importantly, they are quick. Carlos Boozer has had about fourty rebounds in the first two games, riding the tide he had against Yao. If he continues to do that, there is no way the warriors are getting even one game from them. Besides, a team is a playoff team iff it has a playoff coach, which explains why the Mavs are not successful in the playoffs not only this season but last season as well. The same rule applies. Nellie lead the Oaklandfans to their ecstasy because he knows every single thing about Avory, and Avory is green when it comes to playoffs. Jerry Sloan is another story. With their pick 'n roll run to perfection, this Jazz team plays very systematically. That prevents the Warriors from their chaotic style, which is undoubtedly all why they win. Besides, this Jazz team is so mentally tough, esp. with what happened to Fisher. I think they are a resilient team and can take the Warriors in at most five games, because they are not going to lose at home and definitely going to take at least one in Oakland. Good luck Warriors, you have served your time.